Overheard in the IcTheek:

“Hi dude, hoe gaat het with you?”

“Huh, what did you say?”

“I asked how are you in Dutch. I have my Dutch exam tomorrow, so I’m practicing.”

“Oh, I see…so, how’s it going, is it easy to learn?”

“It is an easy-lijk taal. I found it tough initially, but then I discovered some tricks and with those, it became real easy to talk Dutch”

“Yeah, like what tricks?”

“Well for instance, unlike English where ‘the’ can be used for everything, in Dutch its either ‘de’ or ‘het’ depending on the noun. But there’s no rule saying when to use what. So, I just use ‘de’ most of the time and every now and then throw a ‘het’ in to mix it up a bit and break the monotony. I try to keep a ratio of 5 de’s to 1 het.

“Well, for a foreigner, I guess it’s okay if you…”

“Yeah and then I also discovered the multipurpose ‘Ja’. ‘Ja’ can mean yes and also yes but, maybe, I hope so, we shall see, yes but only if, no, really? , you’ve got to be kidding, etc. It all depends on the tone of the ‘Ja’ and the length of your ‘aaaa’. So if someone asks you a question in Dutch, there is an 80% chance that simply ‘Ja’ will be a sufficient answer.”

“And then run before he asks you to elaborate…”

“Natural-lijk. Also, learn certain Dutch words like ‘met’, ‘het’ and ‘ik’. Infact, forget the rest, just start all your sentences with ‘ik’.”

“I’m not sure that’s the correct way to…”

“And the most important trick - to indicate things done in the past simply prefix “ge” with the action. For eg: Ik have my work gefinished. Its simple, isn’t it?”

“Umm, that doesn’t sound right…”

“Hey, ik ben sprek-ing prima, trust me.”

“Well, if you say so. Veel succes met jouw examen.”

“Thank you wel.”